Shirish Patel, in his life and work, reminded us that relationships need not be transactional or transient, as they tend to be these days.

As a journalist interested in cities, how they work, where they are headed, and especially how they accommodate the needs of a burgeoning urban poor population, there could be no one better than Shirish Patel to educate you. He went beyond his background as a structural engineer and urban planner to provide us with a perspective on not just the “how” but the “why” of urban chaos and misgovernance as exemplified in a city like Mumbai.

Yet, Shirish was more than a “source” or an “expert”. He was a deeply engaged and concerned citizen. And there was no contradiction in being both. For me, the expert also became a mentor and friend. He never talked down to you, even if you asked stupid questions. He represented a fast-disappearing breed, a person who has grace, charm, patience and above all a genuine interest in the person speaking to him, irrespective of their age, gender or class.

The last time I met Shirish was almost exactly a year ago. It was a few months before we got the news of his terminal illness. We...