When a couple gets married it’s traditional to buy them a gift if you attend their wedding. Some people put together a list of things they want for the house, while others ask for contributions to their honeymoon. However, a disgruntled bridesmaid revealed how her former friend managed to swindle a small fortune out of her bridal party, which she ended up putting towards a luxury home.


Sharing all, Tammy* explained that when her friend Kate* got engaged to Carl* she was over the moon for her and immediately accepted when she was asked to be a bridesmaid. Tammy added that Kate’s father had died when she was younger and was very upset that he wouldn’t be at the wedding. Because of this Tammy said she and the other bridesmaids wanted to give her the best time to make her happy.


Tammy wrote: “Wedding planning was going great and we are planning the bach trip when Kate asks me about having all the bridesmaids chip in to ‘keep prices as low as possible for her and Carl since business has slowed up’.


“It wasn’t an issue for us to pitch in, we knew we would have to and even offered to help more after finding out that Carl and Kate were struggling. Keeping costs low for a 9-day trip to Hawaii is a stretch but after all, it’s a good time. Kate's birthday would also fall on this trip so it was a bach/birthday celebration for her.



“Kate messaged our group chat to let us know that we would all split the Airbnb in Hawaii and that we would also be responsible for our dresses, shoes, jewelry, alterations, and the like. Fine… it’s as expected. About £480 ($600) for outfit and accessories including the £40 ($50) per person for dress alterations.


“Kate said we could give her the money for the Airbnb so she could pay with her card and it would be all taken care of. We agreed and asked how much it would be for all of us to split it. (10 people going but I offered to pay for Kate’s portion as a gift to her for the wedding/birthday.) It was going to be £700 ($900) PER PERSON to stay. That’s a little steep but I figured Kate had picked out the most fabulous of places including a pool, hot tub, sauna.. whatever. I wasn’t thrilled with the price and offered to help her find a cheaper place but she insisted and I gave her the money. Airfare was another £390 ($500) per person which went on mother-of-bride’s card.”


Tammy, Kate and everyone else had a great time on the hen party, which was described as “gorgeous” with a “beachfront, personal chef, housemaids”. She went on: “We had so much fun but I noticed like 3 days in that Kate was fake drinking. I only caught it because we’re out and I heard her quietly order a ‘watered-down cranberry juice’ that looked very similar to drinks she had been having at the house. I didn’t say anything as to alert anyone else. That’s not my news to tell.”


Tammy revealed that following the hen party in Hawaii the wedding preparations really ramped up and Kate asked again if she and a few of the other bridesmaids could chip into paying for their rooms at the venues, seeing as they were staying over.


She wrote: “We opted to grab a few hotel rooms that were cheaper nearby. This sent Kate into a spiral of anger because ‘we weren’t helping enough’. I tried politely explaining that we had already paid a large amount of money and that we had our own things to pay for so we wouldn’t spend all the extra on her wedding and expenses. She stops replying.”


Fast forward to the wedding day and Tammy explained that the day was perfect, like “a scene straight from the movies”. She wrote: “When it was Kate’s turn to speak she said she had wanted to thank everyone for attending and helping. Kate begins to tear up speaking about her father but states that he had left her the best gift of all… marrying the man of her dreams ALL EXPENSES PAID.


“He left her a big fat trust in which she could access to pay for her wedding, dress, venue, bachelor/bachelorette trips, catering, the whole nine. The bridal party sat jaws dropped at what we had just heard after supplying actual thousands to support her wedding and bach trip. WHERE DID OUR MONEY GO?!


“All of us too stunned to speak just stared at Kate as she ended her speech and scurried out the back entrance where she and Carl proceeded to leave for their honeymoon (also funded by the trust, might I add.) Everyone was frantically calling and texting Kate and Carl trying to figure out what was happening… radio silence.


“A week after the wedding, I finally received a call from Kate explaining the situation. She claims that she didn’t know the wedding and its festivities were fully funded until a month before the wedding which I didn’t believe. I asked her if we could get our money back and she said that it had already been spent and that she was sorry but it was a gift so she used it as such.”


Tammy added that Kate never actually admitted to her what she spent the money on but several weeks later she saw a Facebook post. She revealed: “Kate had written, ‘We are so blessed to announce the best wedding gift of all… Baby blank coming soon! We also want to take this time to thank all of our wonderful bridesmaids, groomsmen, friends, and family for the gracious gifts that we have put towards our new family home!’ insert photo of ultrasound picture and photo of £791,000 ($996,000) home here."


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“I have since deleted Kate from everything and removed Carl from Facebook. I tried to contact her about all of this and never got a response so I gave up. I got a baby shower invitation in the mail last week and it got me stewing again… I will not be going or contributing another cent.


“After speaking with others who paid in and are also still furious, we estimate that we all contributed about £20,000 ($25,000) for them to buy a new house. I also found out that Carl knew the whole time and so did Kate’s mom.”


Redditors reading the post were horrified by Kate and Carl's behaviour. One person replied: "As as soon as I read, 'They are struggling' and 'bach trip of 9 days in Hawaii' my brain hit a speed bump!" While another user suggested: "I would post on FB a condensed version of this and then a video of me burning the invitation… I would also tag all the bridesmaids."


*Names have been changed.


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