When Laura Wellington’s daughter chose estrangement in June 2024,  Wellington used social media as an outlet for her grief and began sharing her story on TikTok, where she’s known as “Doormat Mom.” She has since encountered thousands of parents going through the same thing, so she decided to create a community for them all.

It’s not at all uncommon to hear about children choosing to go low or no contact with their parents these days. While it was once considered unacceptable to turn your back on the people who raised you unless there was a really serious issue, adult children are doing so very publicly now, and more often than not, they have good reason.

‘Doormat Mom’ has gone viral for sharing her thoughts on estrangement, with mixed reactions.

In her most popular TikTok video, Wellington argued that the idea that children don’t actually owe their parents anything is “psycho babble that provides you a cop out of mass proportions.”

“You owe your parents for bringing you into this world and keeping you alive,” she said. “You owe them for the love they gave you, the caring they showed you, and the protection that they afforded you as they sent you on your way to live your life.”

Plenty of people disagreed with her take, of course, like one commenter who said, “As a therapist this is NOT accurate. Your kids do not owe you anything and expectations are only premeditated resentments.”

However, Wellington told People that she was also “flooded” with positive reactions. “They were all so grateful because they had felt so alone,” she said. “There’s such an embarrassment that comes from being estranged from your child. It’s because everybody always says that if you’re estranged, you did something.”

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After realizing there were so many people in the same situation, Wellington decided to create a community for them.

A year ago, she started a Facebook group called “Doormat Mom, No More!” In the cover photo, she made it clear that dads are also welcome to join, despite the name. The group has over 7,000 members. Wellington said of the group, “It’s not just an account anymore. It’s not just one person’s story that I’m telling. It’s a responsibility. It’s its own force.”

On January 11, Wellington announced on TikTok that there was now an app to go along with the group. She said the app still allows estranged parents to connect across the country and also helps them find other estranged parents in their area.

While Wellington admitted there are some situations where a child has a right to cut off contact with their parents, in most cases, they’re just treating them too harshly. “I think there’s no grace anymore,” she said. “I think there’s no understanding anymore of just human foibles. The lever comes down so hard so quickly.”

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Estrangement is a hot topic, but it’s not new, and there’s usually a good reason behind it.

Writing for Psychology Today, author Peg Streep, who has published books on dysfunctional family dynamics, said that despite the fact that we’re all hearing about parents and children becoming estranged much more often now, she doesn’t think it’s a “fad.” Instead, it just wasn’t discussed openly before.

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Streep cited a 2023 study that found that 6% of participants were estranged from their mothers and 26% were estranged from their fathers. She said that in her own research, she has found political disagreements, poor treatment, and parents trying to be overly involved to be some of the biggest factors that influence estrangement.

There are plenty of people like Wellington who claim they were good parents who were there for their children, and they had nothing to do with the estrangement. However, it is admittedly difficult to believe that so many children would choose to cut off their parents for no reason at all. As painful as it may be, it might be time for these parents to take a closer look at how they raised their children and what could have potentially pushed them away.

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.