I come from a very small place in Maharashtra called Bhusawal.

I studied in a convent school and that’s really where my love for sports began. Balancing studies and sports was not easy, but I was lucky. Growing up in a house full of sisters, they pushed me towards sports and encouraged me to pursue it seriously.

From under-9 onwards, I was always in a team. Around 16-17, I started chasing the dream at a higher level. I moved to Mumbai, went around looking for clubs, and tried my best wherever there was an opportunity.

But I couldn’t continue for long. Injuries kept coming. I went back home, tried again with a few clubs. But it didn’t click.

Around 18-19, I had my first ACL tear. Sitting at home for almost a year was the hardest part. I had no clarity on where or how I would continue in sports, football specifically.

Back then, there was no real guidance or pathway. There was nobody to explain how the sport works, how teams function or how you get into professional setups.

There was no social media, no structured information – just a newspaper line reading “trials here” or a friend passing some contact.

Coaching toddlers

One of my friends I played with at PIFA, told me, “Why don’t you come? You’re anyway in a brace. Just come and try coaching in the initial stages.”

To be honest, I didn’t want to become a coach. I just wanted to play as much as I could.

I started with toddlers at PIFA – under-2s, under-3s, under-4s. No coaching license, nothing. Just me and kids.

That group taught how to be patient with these age groups, understand them, and how to slow down. I was learning without even realising it.

I told myself I’d stay with these groups for two or three years, just to see whether I can actually coach or not.

Gradually my knee got better. I started playing a little for Roots and was coaching side-by-side, just to survive in Bombay. Then again, an injury hit.

That’s when I really asked myself: If I cannot play, how can I contribute? Coaching was the answer.

There was still a lack of knowledge even about coaching. Toddlers, U9s, U10s – they are very difficult to manage. But I delved deeper.

I got my D license after years of coaching and kept climbing step by step.

The journey wasn’t easy. But I don’t call it a struggle because it is what I wanted.

From PIFA, I went from toddlers to U9S, U10S, U12S, then U13S, U16S, U18S, then elite teams as assistant. Almost five years there. Under-18 I-Leagues, local elite leagues, MDFA – all of that. Those five years taught me a lot.

Even as I finished my C licence, I still wasn’t fully ready. There was a lot more to understand as a coach.

Then I got an opportunity to be part of Minerva.

I went there with a big brace, unable to walk properly. The person who brought me there said, “You come, I will take care of your knee. I will make sure you start walking, jogging again on the field.”

He gave me that motivation.

At Minerva, I took 13s, 15s, and 18s and was part of multiple teams. I met different coaches with different ideas. That helped me groom myself. When we won national titles, people started noticing me. That was my first turning point.

After almost three years there, I shifted to Ahmedabad, working with ARA as an assistant coach for almost a year-and-a-half post-pandemic, managing youth setups.

Then I moved to Bengaluru, managing the first team at Rebels in the Karnataka Football Association leagues and the youth structure – developing a pathway from U13 to U18. That was always my idea.

From there, my journey moved into something that changed my life completely: women’s football.

“If it’s difficult to handle one girl…”

One of my friends and my agent spoke to me about Gokulam’s plan to bring me into the women’s team.

It wasn’t an easy decision. After so many years in men’s setups, it took me almost six months to understand whether I can go and work with a women’s team.

Six months just to research and asking myself, if I really can make a difference?

It was an assistant coach job. And I think that decision worked well. To become a first coach directly in women’s football is difficult. Being the assistant coach helped me understand how the system works.

For six months, I spoke to many people: how women’s football works, what challenges players face, which players are in the national team, and how many players we actually have.

One big advantage I had was that I was surrounded by seven sisters in my house. So I had first-hand experience – from menstrual cycles to mood swings, and small things which matter.

I always joke, but I mean it: If it is very difficult to handle one girl, be it a wife or a girlfriend, then imagine handling 30 girls and 30 brains around you. Obviously, it’s a challenge.

Psychology is different. You have to track cycles, track mood swings, and give them space. Small details play a big role.

When we came back after my first tour with Gokulam, I was promoted to head coach. We competed in the IWL and the local league. In the women’s game, we won both tournaments.

At 25–26, managing a women’s team is not easy. Even when you stand on the touchline, it is difficult for any owner or player to accept you as a coach at that age. But I always believed what I was doing was for development of the players.

Back then, IWL was just one or two months. There was no real growth or development, just one month of pre-season and league. You only play to win, nothing more. In my second year in the women’s team, I asked: Can we start an academy?

With the help of people around, we started an academy – U15, U18, U21 – also playing in the local league. The idea was simple: increase the number of players in the pool.

I owe whatever I am in the women’s game today to Gokulam. They believed in me, gave me an opportunity not just for one year but for multiple seasons.

The transfer that tested my mental health

East Bengal is a different ball game altogether. The stature of the club is huge.

When my move to East Bengal started, it wasn’t easy. A club paying transfer fee for a coach in Indian women’s football looks nice in headlines but there was a lot behind that.

The process took more than six months. I also made some stupid mistakes as a coach regarding contracts. Those mistakes have taught me at a very early age.

Those six months took a toll on my mental and physical health, not knowing what would happen.

What was in my control was one thing: if the move happened, I have to put up a good show and prove I am worth it.

East Bengal stuck with me through that period. I am grateful that they trusted me. I, as a human being, will go all out for anyone who trusts me. So obviously, I had to give them something in return.

In that dark period, my only thought was to win the league in my first year with East Bengal.

God has been very kind and with all the hard work, we pulled it together and won.

It wasn’t easy, but it was worth taking that risk.

Planning for AFC before even signing

The planning for my AFC Women’s Champions League campaign with East Bengal began before I joined the club.

In my first year here, all we spoke about as a group was AFC. Even during the IWL season, our minds were still on the Champions League.

We went into the tournament knowing the gap, but also with self-belief. And in our very first appearance on the biggest stage of Asian women’s club football, we created history by winning India’s first group stage match in the competition.

Nobody expected that from us, but the girls delivered. The level was high, the speed of play, the tactical discipline, the decision-making, everything was a step above what we face back home.

We were one moment away from qualifying. But football is cruel. Sometimes it teaches you through pain.

At 29, I may have done a lot. But it is not what I think about when I look at my future.

I just want people to say, “This man has done something for someone.” As much as I can, wherever I can, I want to contribute what I never got.

I don’t know how people would perceive my career. I want them to remember that I did whatever was in my control. Whatever good I have done or won, I want that to matter to someone beyond a trophy list.

If I can contribute to winning and to the women’s game, I am happy. As a coach, I also like to win. If I don’t win, I go mad.

But whenever I step on the pitch, I think: Whatever I didn’t get, can I help others get it?

As told to Aswathy Santhosh