Quick, call the plumber. We have a leak! That's if there's any left after Rachel Reeves has finished taxing pretty much every worker in the country.

The Chancellor's Budget, already the leakiest in history, went down the khazi even before she got the chance to tell MPs what was in it. It was all the fault of the pointy-headed wonks at the government's fiscal watchdog, publishing it 30 minutes too early. They needn't have bothered.

We knew what was inside the Chancellor's Red Box anyway as most of it had been mysteriously reported beforehand.

Just minutes into her speech, as Ms Reeves desperately fished around in the u-bend, incredulous Tory backbencher Mark Francois bellowed "can we just skip to the end".

That would have fast forwarded us to the best bit, but instead we had to sit for another hour as the Chancellor marched the nation through tax rise after tax rise and the welfare bill piled ever higher.

The Labour lot loved it.

Enter Kemi Badenoch.

The Conservative leader delivered a tour de force - the like of which hasn't been seen in this place for a very long time - that left the Chancellor ashen faced and the Labour benches seething.

Not one for eating breakfast, she'd obviously had her wheetabix this morning.

Mrs B demanded that Keir Starmer sack his neighbour for being "spineless, shameless and aimless" and branded the pair "Laurel and Foolhardy".

She then blasted the first ever female Chancellor for "wallowing in self pity and whining about misogyny" after Reeves had complained about being "mainsplained" over how to do her job.

"Let me explain to the Chancellor, woman to woman", she said, as the Commons hushed.

"People out there aren't complaining because she's female, they're complaining because she is utterly incompetent."

Time stood still. Reeves, robotic at the best of times, appeared motionless for longer than is humanely possible.

Yvette Cooper, the ever cheery Foreign Secretary, looked like she'd slurped on some battery acid.

Badenoch roared on with brutal jibe after brutal jibe.

The Conservative benches loved it, especially the men - all doe-eyed and tongues lolling out.

There's certainly no mansplaining going on in the Tory party, not when Mrs B is around.