Children today encounter unkindness in many forms, on the playground, in classrooms, on social media, and sometimes even within their close peer circles. Whether it’s teasing, exclusion, bullying, or disrespect, young minds are watching, absorbing, and learning how the world works. How they respond in these moments, whether they stay silent or take a stand, can shape their character and empathy for life. Teaching children to be “upstanders,” not bystanders, empowers them to speak up, show compassion, and support others when kindness is missing.



Explain what upstanding looks like



The first step is helping children understand what it means to be an upstander. It doesn’t always mean confronting someone loudly or acting like a superhero. An upstander can gently tell a bully to stop, comfort the person being targeted, report the behaviour to an adult, or simply refuse to participate. Teaching children everyday examples standing next to a child who is being teased or telling a classmate “that wasn’t kind” helps them see that small actions make a big difference.




Talk openly about real-life situations



Children learn behaviour most effectively through stories and conversations. Discuss real-life or fictional scenarios:



“What would you do if someone made fun of your friend?”



“How would you feel if no one spoke up for you?”



Talking about emotions, consequences, and choices helps children process difficult moments with clarity and empathy. Books, movies, and school incidents can be excellent conversation starters that build courage and understanding.




Teach the power of empathy



Upstanding starts with emotional awareness. When children learn to recognise how others feel, they are more likely to want to help. Simple exercises—like asking, “How do you think she felt when that happened?” Encourage emotional intelligence. Families can also model empathy through daily behaviour: apologising when wrong, acknowledging others’ feelings, and choosing kindness even when frustrated.




Give them safe tools to intervene



Children need concrete strategies so they don’t feel helpless when witnessing unkindness. Some examples include:




Saying, “Hey, that’s not okay.”

Standing next to the child being targeted.

Distracting the situation by changing the subject.

Finding a trusted adult and reporting it.



Children should know that speaking up does not mean putting themselves in danger, sometimes the right response is to seek help rather than stepping in directly.




Model upstanding at home



Children copy what they see. When parents stand up for fairness, treat domestic workers kindly, intervene when someone is disrespected, or speak calmly instead of reacting harshly, kids absorb values without a lecture. Demonstrating courage and compassion in everyday life becomes the ultimate lesson.



Raising upstanders is not about teaching children to fight or confront aggressively, it’s about nurturing kindness, bravery and emotional intelligence. When kids learn that their voice matters, they grow into adults who make the world a better, safer, and more compassionate place.